File Making, Heart Breaking

I keep thinking how I need to educate myself more. I don't want to spend the rest of my life organizing files for Managers, Vice Presidents and Executives at different corporate offices

I need to take a course to expand my skills. I want to be able to dive deeper into areas that already interest me, but I don't know enough about. The problem here is that I have too many interests. Should I take a course in business? or English? Should I go back to school for theater? Maybe a directing course? stage management? I did print out a Screen Writing course that I found on-line. I followed the first lesson, and that was it. I never looked at the second lesson. I'm not for screen writing. I'd rather take basket weaving, it's nearly as precise. Perhaps I should try something almost totally new and foreign, like graphic design?

My co-worker suggested fashion design. "Fashion Design?!", says I, "Why fashion design?"

I don't really consider myself very fashion forward. So I get a bit of a rush whenever anyone compliments me on my attire or accessories. As you can imagine, when my co-worker, I'll call her "Rica", suggested I take some fashion design courses at FIT, I was rather blushed. She said I had a knack for throwing things together to make an outfit. This is the outfit I wore that prompted Rica to compliment me:

I took the belt from the skirt, tied it around the t-shirt and added a decorative floral hair-pin for flair. I have to give credit to my friend Robyn for the using a belt as an accent idea. Therefore, could I really go to design school? I mean, truly it may be that I am just inspired by those around me. But then I began thinking and I did design a new shirt in my head that I believe, had I actually sewn it together, could be a really nice, curvaceous top for some woman...maybe even me.

Maybe I do have a knack? With the right training...some focus and discipline...could I be the next "Project Runway" winner?

Then I think, nah. I can't believe the hype. If dressing funky turned into an expectation, rather than a surprise and delight. It would cease to be enjoyable to me. I like to experiment with clothing to shake things up and put a little skip in my step. I don't want to have a near heart attack every morning because I can't decide what to wear and the whole world is watching.

Nah, I guess that's why I've stuck to file making. It's helpful to others. It's all neat and pretty. And, for the most part, my creativity stays out of it. My creativity remains my own. It remains personal.