Oh Pooey!

Having a rough week. Tired, cranky. Just got over two colds back to back and now I feel like I might be coming down with another one. And I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the holidays.

I went for a relaxing lunch-walk and a bird pooed on me.

The worst part is, I felt it and heard it...then checked my scarf and forearms of my coat and didn't see anything and chalked it up to water - dew - soapy window-washer suds.

Later, as I brushed my hand across my shoulder to grab my bag - I instead grabbed a handful of poo. So, my nice walk to window-shop and unwind turned into a nice jaunt through Grand Central Station in search of a restroom. The restroom had water, but no paper towels. So in order to rid the shoulder of my coat of bird poo, I had to keep wadding up toilet paper as thickly and tightly as possible..wet it a bit...then try to clean up. This, of course, took several repeat attempts to get *mostly* clean and replaced the bird poo with toilet paper crumbs. Dee-lish!

It gets better.

I thought I got everything off but the toilet paper lint. I decided it was time to head back to the office, where it was safe. Or at least, I was accustomed to the trials and tribulations that would face me there. I stopped by Jamba Juice to get a Cold Buster, trying to forget the week and take a positive step for myself. When I went to brush the length of my coat back to reach the back pocket of my pants...I instead (yep, you guessed it!) had another brush with BIRD POO! Ugh.

I daintily paid for my cold busting immunity boosting smoothie and the kind people at Jamba gave me a wet napkin with which to partially clean my coat. I then received my delicious looking smoothie, but (for fear of spreading bird-poopy germs to the straw) left it untouched until I could get back to the office and properly wash my hands again.

The entirety of the walk back to the office was accompanied by orange sticky smoothie running down the side of the cup and all over my hand and the cuff of my coat. Good thing I was going to wash my hands anyway.

The good news...

Three good things came from this fun little episode.

1. It reminded me that I had a blouse and skirt to pick up at the dry cleaners. I will drop off my coat at that time.

2. My friend informed me that a bird pooping on you is a sign of good luck. (Hey! Look at that!)

3. I wrote this blog entry.

Happy Hump Day, ALL!!

I think I may have just experienced the top of the hump

...it's all down hill from here!

Weeeeee!

Weirded Out

At the end of my holiday weekend, I received a somewhat disturbing phone call.

Basically, the person that called said they got my number through a mutual friend but wouldn't tell me who they were, who the mutual friend was or why they were calling. The first thing this person said after I answered the phone was "Hi Linda, is it too late to call?" I said, "No, it's not too late. Who's this?" and they said, "Oh, I get the feeling it's too late. I'll call back tomorrow." To which I responded, "No, it's not too late, but who's calling?" Again, they responded, "No, I feel it's too late to call, we'll talk tomorrow." I eventually got him (it was a male voice with a foreign accent) to say the call was regarding "friendship", but he kept saying "we'll talk about it tomorrow." It was just overall strange. Probably just a "mutual friend" with very poor social skills...but I didn't like the secrecy and "we'll talk about it tomorrow". I told him not to call again. Also, the call was a "restricted call".

I hate these types of incidents because I become really worried and start obsessing over all the possible things that could go wrong - is he a stalker? did he hurt a loved one, steal their phone and is perversely messing with me? - and until I get confirmation that everything is okay and I'm being overly paranoid, I worry myself sick.

Word to the wise - if you are socially inept, please have your friend call your "mutual friend" and forewarn them before you spook this "mutual friend" out by calling from a restricted number at 11:00pm on a Sunday, and then refusing to talk to the person YOU called and refusing to give them your name, reason you are calling or the name of the person who gave you their number.

Next time - just don't bother. Because the next time, I will call the police.

Success and HAPPINESS!

Saturday, I threw a 30th Birthday Party for Andy.

He knew about the party, but did not know that his entire family was coming from Maine & Boston to celebrate! AND that all of his friends would be ROASTING & TOASTING him.

I have been anxious and a little stressed for about a month and half now in the planning process. Most of all, these last couple of weeks, as I began getting sick and could no longer focus on the details when it was MOST crucial!

Amazingly, due to the extraordinary FRIENDS of both Andy and me, and our amazing, talented families...The whole party and especially the Roasting & Toasting went off without a snag! It was just amazing!!! Andy didn't have a clue and was rendered speechless for a good portion of the evening (but totally happy).

And I got about ten offers to host other individual 30th birthday bashes. Maybe I should open a business?

[picture coming soon]

Sickies be damned!

Despite being sick all this last week...

Despite originally obsessing over and hating my haircut...

I have come out on top - with a cute do and time to finish this scarf!


AND, I get to keep the scarf guilt-free!

Turns out, Leslie no longer works with Laura. Her last day at Laura's office was Friday!

New do. New scarf. Happy girl.

I feel better already!

Flood 'Em Out!

Last Wednesday (the really rainy one), I was suppose to go to this networking event after work. But it got cancelled. So instead, I stayed late at the office organizing, planning, catching up on this and that. Sorting e-mails, you know... Just general crap that I'm usually too distracted to do at home.

Finally, around 8:30 or 9:00pm I left work for home. I was exhausted. I was hungry. All I could think of was when I would get home, kick up my feet, eat a nice dinner and unwind while knitting or watching one of several Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes on my dvr.

Wasn't I pleasantly surprised to come home to a freshly watered down bedroom?

Answer: NO. I WASN'T!

I took off my boots and socks in the bedroom and put my foot down into a nice cool puddle of water at the foot of my bed. What? Had I really dragged in all that water? NO. So where did it come from?

I looked up.

Answer 1:

Dripping, coke-like stain on ceiling.

I looked to my right.

my whole wall is swollen with water!

I take a closer look at the wall

water is literally dripping
and crawling down my wall...

It seems the only thing keeping my room from being completely flooded is the paint that is somehow wrapping the water in little bubbles like a fish swimming in a plastic baggie.

Oh, but wait...I guess the ceiling is not painted and couldn't contain the flood.
You see this big stack of clothes here? This is the freshly laundered stack of clothes that I didn't wear because I didn't want them to get wet on this rainy day.

Well, guess what? They are SOAKED. Six items deep on the top - all sweaters and jeans - Completely and utterly SOAKED. All the way through!

I suppose I should be thankful that my clothing hadn't been put away yet, or that puddle on my bedroom floor would have been more like a lake.

With all the mildewy musty perfume of our bedroom, not knowing when the rain might end, nor if the paint would hold...Andy and I slept on the futon in the living room.

A few hours later, I checked back in on the bedroom.

the water drop had made almost a foot of progress!

I'd love to say that the neighbors were again attempting to flood us out. Seeing as the bathroom tactic failed. However, I really don't see how leaving your air conditioning unit in the wall one floor above us has much to do with the water that seeped down into our bedroom...even if it was the very same wall.

As could be expected, Mr. M showed up two days later than he said he would....and then said "Let's wait until it drys, and then we'll fix it."

One week later...

Tonight it rains again. I hope I don't drown by tomorrow.

I know, I know....

Slackity, Slack, Slack.

I still can't shake this stinkin' hack-hack (cough)!


The good news is...I'm adjusting to my haircut. It relaxed a bit. I can sort of style it. I might even be inclined to say...I like it.

Hmmm...

Not love it. Like it.

But that's better than hate.

Picture soon.

Have a good stormy evening (if you are in New York...where it is stormy.)

Press PAUSE

I haven't abandoned you, Blog. I just need a break.

I have some draft entries saved...my head is getting more and more congested, though...and I can't seem to get the words in line.

So, I'm just taking a little pause to get better (hopefully) before it gets worse.

Bear with me...stay tuned...

We'll return with breaking news shortly!

Snip, Snip, Snip, SNIIIIP

Hair go bye-bye.

Too much this time.

Man, I LOVE the haircutting process. I love the sound of the scissors. The feel of the weight of your head grower lighter by the second. I love watching all the chopping and snipping and shaping of the hair.

But boy do I hate when they cut too much.

I made an appointment for 6:00pm on Friday. My hairstylist asked me to show up at 5:30pm. I asked my boss if I could leave early on Friday (it was a slow day, I had worked late earlier in the week....) she said "yes." I got to the hair salon at 5:35pm. I waited for an hour and a half to get my hair cut.

And, in the end - I waited to long for my hair to be cut too short!!!

Feeling very frustrated and down right now ... cause all that I can do is wait.

(Oh, and next week I get to meet a bunch of Andy's close long-time friends for the first time as I host his 30th birthday party. And my bangs (yeah, bangs) are doing this funny almost cowlick-like thing. Even Andy (for the first time) agrees it's not so great.)

Blegh. Maybe it'll relax and look better in a couple of days. Still...too short, I say! too short!

I want to be in high school...

...so that all my thoughts can become open and descript again. So that my words will leak from my fingertips without regard to how they sound to anyone but me. My words and thoughts will be my own and they will be so powerful and unique that they will grow from thoughts into poems from poems into prose and from prose into stories to be passed on for generations to come.

I want to take my observations of the people around me and knit together little stories of their lives from the thirty seconds that I observe them while I glance up from my crossword puzzle. I see them standing there, with a story. A history waiting and begging to be written. All I have to do is let myself imagine again.


Thank you, my fellow blogger, for the inspiration...whether you know it or not.


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DON'T ASSUME YOU ARE AN ASS

Standing in the middle of The Yarn Connection, I called my friend Laura* at work.

She answers the phone in a very professional manner, "Good Afternoon, [Insert Company Name & Department Here]."

To which I reply, "God, sound a little happier."

We both start laughing a little at my sarcasm and friendly mean-ness and I ask, "What's your favorite color?"

To which she replies, "This isn't Laura. This is Leslie*"

"Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry. I...I...was just joking. You didn't sound unhappy..."

Leslie: "Can I put you on hold a moment?"

My stunned utterance, "Yes." (Oops! What did I just do?!)

Leslie quickly returns to say, "Laura stepped out to lunch. But, my favorite color is red."

Me: "I..You...What I was saying...Joking with Laura....You didn't sound ... You sounded professio...I thought...[insert more rambling and sticking foot in mouth]"



This has been a story about how you should never assume that the person who's number you have dialed, is the person who will answer that phone. (Even if they do sound remarkably similar in the first two seconds of spiel and you aren't really paying too much attention anyway...since you are distracted by all the pretty yarn you are going to buy in order to knit your friend a scarf.)

Lesson learned. Now I must publish this blog and go start on that lovely red scarf...



*Names changed to protect the innocent.

Please...No Deal!

About three months ago when I first stumbled upon the last five or ten minutes of this game show, I thought certainly it was some random game show in re-runs.

I contemplated why any network would ever think that this show needed to be re-aired, but I deferred judgement when I thought about all the other crap that was on TV. I turned the TV off, never to hear of "Deal or No Deal" again.

Unfortunately, for the following months, just about ALL I HEARD in multiple circles of friends and associates was endless references to this new game show "Deal or No Deal". It seemed EVERYONE was watching this show. (Or is?!) I can't imagine it. But there you have it, TV has gone lower than Reality Television Series.

Congratulations, Society. Congratulations.

A Chicken Runs the Marathon!

And a Rhino, too...but unfortunately, I don't have a picture of that. I'm fairly certain you will be able to find it on savetherhino.org, however, since that was the banner pasted across his gray burly rhino chest!

Good Job, Runners! I marvel at you.

MARATHON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the day of the NYC Marathon.

26.2 miles and I have four friends (that I know of) running today!!


Hip, Hip Robyn! Sean! Erica! and Alison!


Better you than me. Phew! I admire you for taking on this challenge.

The funny thing is, you've already started running and I haven't even taken a shower yet. Woah - talk about commitment. Well, never fear, I will be there in time to cheer you on! And I will bring chapstick and water. Chapstick and water.

Way to go, my friends!

Knit This!

It's been a year..but I've done it!

I've returned to that scarf my sister-in-law taught me how to knit so long ago
...and FINISHED IT!

Andy wears the completed scarf as a
Rambo-inspired headband.
He may not knit, but he sure is inventive!

I was so amazed at how much I remembered. In fact, I was faster, less tense and generally just BETTER! See what abandoning a project will do?

Okay, you know what I mean. Sometimes, you get so stuck on a word, a design, how to get that one walk-on line just right so you'll catch the eye of an agent, or how get your pizza dough to rise like that guy on TV. You get so frustrated that you just want to scream, punch a wall or throw the pizza dough at the TV! But if you just walk away, do something different for a little while and then come back to the project - all of a sudden everything seems so simple and clear!

That's what happened with my knitting. It used to hurt my wrist so badly that I'd have to stop after two rows of twenty stitches (not even 10 minutes of work, for those of you non-knitters). And my needles were constantly slipping out from the work, my yarn would fall out of my lap and roll half-way across the room. I couldn't get anything to go right for me and my knitting. Then...out of the blue - when I returned to that same scarf - everything just flowed.

And now I'm a knitting maniac! I've got two projects going at once and both patterns I created!

Me and my knitting projects!

Talk about a much needed break!